Lone Wolf Cowboy by
Maisey Yates
My rating:
5 of 5 stars
“We’re all different kinds of messed up, Jacob. I guess it’s not really my place to comment on your particular brand of it.”
Vanessa has been an interest of mine since reading her sister Olivia’s story. I was wondering if she would get a book of her own and how Maisey would spin it. Knowing she had some addiction problems, and that can be a touchy subject, I wasn’t sure if I’d ever read her back-story. Well here she is and it is a great story.
Vanessa left town in a cloud of disappointment and addiction 10 years ago. Her family and friends were toxic for her and she just needed to disappear. Yes she could’ve let them know she wasn’t dead by the side of the road but they fueled her desires in a negative way. She needed to get herself sober, stronger and stable before even considering any type of relationship with the Logan’s. Being 5 years sober now, she accepts a job back in Gold Valley, the place it all went wrong.
Jacob Dalton is depressed, lonely and possibly on the road to becoming an alcoholic. He is fighting guilt through ghosts of the past and can’t seem to get himself back into the land of the living. He spends his days held up in his cabin high in the hills and on the edge of the land. To escape, to punish himself, to find strength, he doesn’t know why he feels the need to remove himself from society. As much as he doesn’t want to be anyone’s hero, situations keep finding him smack dab in that exact position.
Jacob and Vanessa share a history only the two of them know. He was there for her, years ago at her lowest point. He held her fate in his hands and he wouldn’t let go, he is the face she sees when she needs to draw strength in her life. Meeting him unexpectedly again, all these years later, has her wondering if he remembers her as well.
Vanessa starts work at the Dalton ranch in the new youth center they’ve built. She is teaching art therapy classes, as that is the thing that saved her during rehab. She feels a kinship with these kids and thinks she can reach them. Jacob also feels a kinship in how not to behave. He has the same attitude these kids do and can relate to the anger they feel at the world.
Vanessa and Jacob are drawn to each other, neither can control it, and the more they fight it the more powerful it becomes. There is a thin line between love and hate and when their emotions take over, passion erupts. Keeping a lid on that passion proves easier said than done and it takes strong willpower to keep away from each other. When an unexpected hiccup takes the wheel, they work together to be a team as best as they know how. But will it be enough?
I’ve read some reviews where people have said this is too dark for a Maisey Yates book, too much, too everything. But addiction, depression and guilt is too dark, too much, too everything. Addicts have different vantage points than the people they leave behind. More inner reflection, more pain associated with past events and personalities. I felt Vanessa’s handling of her family was right in line with my personal experiences with addiction and alcoholism. It isn’t light, it isn’t pretty, it’s heavy, it’s deep and it’s depressing. These sides of our culture need brought to light to not only show the bad side of addiction, overdoses etc but also the hope. Recovery and rehabilitation is a real thing. People can pick themselves up and refocus and succeed. Depression too is debilitating but can be overcome. Jacob has survivors guilt for both of his best friends, knowing honestly he couldn’t have changed the outcome but feeling no less guilty living a life of what-if’s. How many of us live the what-if life daily?
The quote I started this review off with was one of my favorites in the book. Vanessa realizes they are both screwed up, not one more than the other. But acknowledging this between them gives them strength to know they aren’t alone in it. Together they can weather any storm and come out the other side stronger, together.
I voluntarily read and reviewed an advance copy and once again, Ms Yates gets right into the nitty gritty with life and all her ups and downs. While this 5 star read was on the darker side, it wasn’t unnecessarily dark or depressing. It fits the story, it fits the characters and I’m thankful she wrote these characters for us to experience.
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